Release the Kraken {Review – The Hobgoblin, Bristol}

I like meat.  I really like meat, I really have never considered being a vegetarian. When I had a recent routine blood test, I did think the doctor was going to tell me that my blood was made up of BBQ sauce from eating so much meat.

Recently, there has been an explosion in the number of decent burger places in Bristol like Grillstock and Burger Theory, so was a bit dubious there was really a need for another burger place on Gloucester Road. Let’s call it ‘research’ I arranged for some colleagues who were equally meat fans to try out a place that has filled my facebook and twitter timelines with dreamy pictures of porky heavy, what dreams are made of burgers.

The Hobgoblin perched on the corner at 69-71 Gloucester Road, looks deceptive from the outside. But hidden behind a shine bar, smiling staff and a cracking range of craft ales and ciders, is a MONSTER. Shhhhhhh………

The Kraken is a monster of epic proportions, which should only be taken on with the greatest care and respect.

To take on The Kraken, on needs to take on the following in 45 minutes to have the honour and pride that they survived THE KRAKEN! A Triple Bypass Burger (Three 7oz Burgers, 6 rashers of bacon, 2 hash browns  and 2 huge pickles!!!), a mound of Dirty, Dirty Fries (Spicy fries, pulled pork, melted blue and cheddar cheese with coriander mayo), 15 SUPER Hot Wings, Coleslaw, Pickles and Sauces. Phew! That beast weighs 5lbs 10oz all for the prize of £25 but free if you finish it. I last time I visited only one man had managed to finish this brute.

The Kraken Challenge

The Kraken, The Hobgoblin, Bristol

Source:The Hobgoblin

Were we man enough to take on the challenge? The simple answer was…no. But we did tuck into a disgusting amount of food between ten people. I hope one day our friend Dan will be victorious as he dominated his huge Squealer burger with a quiet determination.

If Chicken Wings are on the menu, there is no way I’m not going to order them. I’m that kind of gal. These fiery little bitches had a kick but were perfectly cooled down with a creamy dip and crunch of celery but saying that they had my reach for another after another.

Hobgoblin Chicken Wings

We made the wise decision to share a portion of Dirty, Dirty fries. It was a vat of glorious spicy fries, topped with dreamy pulled pork, melted sharp cheddar and tangy blue cheese and finished off with cool coriander mayo. For £8 it fed 8 of us and took some ploughing through but tasted amazing, addictive even and we made light work of this mountain before our burgers even arrived. Go on, dive in!

Hobgoblin Dirty Dirty Fries Hobgoblin Dirty Dirty Fries Hobgoblin Dirty Dirty Fries Hobgoblin Dirty Dirty Fries

When a place has a burger on the menu called The Wrong Burger, its got my vote. A juicy beef burger topped with peanut butter and crispy bacon rashers. So wrong, but oh so good. Gooey nutty peanut with smoky crispy bacon, does life get any better than this burger. I dream of this burger. So good. So good. So Very Good.

The Wrong Burger, Hobgoblin

We went to The Hobgoblin on Bonfire Night and when you need to waddle from eating a mountain of food, there is only one thing you can do.  SPARKLERS!!!! And we managed to take these awesome pictures on the fireworks setting on my camera, where we spelt out our favourite word first then got creative.

Sparklers, Bristol Sparklers, Bristol Sparklers, Bristol

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